Just enough faith for the both of them
by The.Ocean.Shadow
Summary: TWO-SHOT. I saw the promo: My take on how Eli might react to Clare's new look, and Clare's reasons for changing herself. Please R&R? No Flames. Thank you.  :  1st chapt is Eli POV, 2nd in Clare POV
1. Chapter 1: Eli's POV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, or any of the characters. I got this idea while watching the promo for the new episode. Please let me know what you think. I put this in two parts otherwise it would be too long. **

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**ELI POV **

I stood by my locker, waiting for Clare. She had sent me a text earlier this morning saying that she had a huge surprise for me. I stood there, listening to my music, wondering what this surprise might be. I jumped a bit in surprise when I felt two hands cover my eyes. I smirked, knowing full well who it was. I turned around, ready to say a witty comment to her, when my words got caught in my throat. She looked hot but not like herself. While my animalistic side was attracted to this side of her, my rational side told me that this was wrong and so not her.

"Who are you?" I asked her. I knew she was Clare but where was the Clare I knew and loved. What happened to her? I liked her. No, I more than liked her. I loved her. What happened to the saint Clare? What was with this new look? My one question held several other questions.

She smirked at me. That's my thing, not hers. "Let's do some dangerous fun, Eli." She commanded in a firm order.

"Clare, what's wrong with you?" I asked her. She gave me a look before shaking her head.

"What do you mean?" she asked, tilting her head to the left.

I gestured at her outfit and straightened hair, while saying "What's with the new look?"

She glanced down for a moment before meeting my eyes again. I heard her release a sigh. Now, I was truly worried.

"Clare?" I whispered, concerned.

She shook her head, mumbling "You'll think I'm silly."

I smirked, "Try me."

She sighed once more before saying anything else. "I guess I was just sick of everyone referring to me as Saint Clare."

I opened my mouth to object, but she held a hand up, silencing me.

"Please let me finish." she pleaded with me.

I just nodded.

"I gave up being Saint Clare long after my sister Darcy left for Kenya, and when I realized that my Christian parents relationship wasn't perfect. How can I believe and promise to a God that allows these things to happen?" She said, questioning what she once believed in. I wanted to urge her not to do this, to forget her religion but who was I to tell her what to believe in?

I didn't say anything. I guess that got to her because she grunted, and said "You can say something, anything!"

"Clare," I whispered, "This isn't you." that was all I could say. All I could think of.

She groaned, pulling at her locks of hair. "I am sick and tired of people telling me who I should be and who I shouldn't!"

I held my hands up in defense, "Clare, I wasn't. I just, don't think you should throw away your beliefs."

She shook her head, clearly disagreeing. "I'm not throwing away my beliefs. They threw me away." She said, "I want to believe that there was a god somewhere, but every time I try and believe, something happens that makes me doubt it even more."

I wanted to throw my hands around her, hug her, and let her cry against my shoulder, but that ridiculous no PDA rule was holding me back.

"I just want to stop hurting, Eli." she whispered, tears falling. "And, if I don't believe in a God then I won't hurt as much. I won't have any expectations that would just be broken. I won't hurt as much anymore." She narrowed her eyes to the floor, and whispered softly "I just want it all to stop."

Forget the rules! I embraced my arms around her, and brought her towards me. I held her tight, as sobs shook her.

I hushed her, "It'd be alright, Clare. I'll take care of you." I felt her nod slightly against my shoulder. She mumbled something. "What was that?"

She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. Her blue orbs were covered in tears, and I hate to admit it but the tears made her eyes glisten and made then even more pretty.

"I said, thank you." she said, repeating what she had mumbled before.

I nodded, and patted her head. "No problem." I kissed her forehead, "Come on, let's get you home."

"No…" she whispered, shaking her head.

"What do you mean no?" I questioned, "You can't go in class like that. You'll get in trouble."

"I don't care anymore." she stated. She couldn't have been anymore straightforward if she wanted to. I scowled, and grabbed her wrist, and dragged her. "What are you doing?"

"If you won't care for yourself, someone has to." I told her, dragging her out of Degrassi.

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**Author's note: **

**What do you think? Good? Okay? What? Please review? No flames.**


	2. Chapter 2: Clare's POV

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the characters. This is just for fun. This is in Clare's POV. Please read and review.**

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I was just sick of everyone referring me to as Saint Clare. Obviously, I had given up that title about the time my sister was raped and left for Kenya. And if that wasn't enough, I had to live with knowing that my parents once wonderful relationship was crumbling before my eyes. I wanted to believe that somewhere in the world there was god. But, what was it worth to believe in something that always seemed to let me down in the end? Wouldn't I be happier if I didn't have any expectations that could end up broken?

I thought that Eli would understand where I was coming from. I mean, he dresses different everyday. I figured he once was like me. Innocent. But all innocence must be destroyed at one point, now doesn't it? All good must come to an end at one point. Nothing can ever be perfect for long. I sighed as I felt Eli pull his hearse, Morty out of the school parking lot. I didn't want to leave Degrassi but Eli hadn't really left any room for arguing. Especially when he said what he said. _"If you won't care for yourself, someone has to." _

I couldn't argue with that. No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't. Those words did something to me. Made me feel something. Something other than what I had been feeling for the last couple of months. Maybe it was relief? Relief that someone actually cared so much about me. Or maybe it was astonishment? It was hard to believe after all this time of feeling nothing but remorse, that someone could actually care for me.

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I had been so wrapped in my thoughts for so long that I didn't notice that time had passed by, and that Morty wasn't moving any more. I glanced around, not finding Eli in his seat. I then looked out the window, trying to determine where I was. And where Eli was. Where could he be?

My eyes spotted a sign not that far from where Morty was parked. It read: 'V-Gas STOP'.

So that was where we were. In a gas station, and Eli was probably inside paying for some gas and buying some snacks. Speaking of the devil, the door opened, and Eli entered. He smirked at me.

"Miss me?" he asked, buckling his seatbelt.

I rolled my eyes, "You're so full of yourself."

He gasped, and sarcastically said "Ouch!" he then smirked, and handed me a bag of peanuts, "Here, I figured you'd be hungry."

I accepted the bag of peanuts, my stomach growling. I had been too anxious to get to school and see Eli's reaction that I hadn't eaten breakfast.

Opening the bag, I whispered "Thanks." He just nodded, and drove Morty out of the parking space. Peanut in midair, almost in my mouth, I questioned "Where are we going, Eli?"

He smirked, looked at me out of the corner of his eyes. "You'll see."

I pouted, I hated surprises. Usually I always raised my hopes too high when it come around surprises and always they ended up being crushed.

Eli sighed, responding to my pout. "I'll give you hint." That obviously seemed to raise my hopes, slightly. "It's somewhere that you seem to need to be at the moment."

"Home?" I guessed. I really didn't want to be home. It was always empty now. It was almost as worse as hearing my parents fighting. When they fought, they forgot that I existed. So them not being around as much anymore was hardly any different. At least I actually got some peace and quiet. But it got lonely often, just sitting there, writing with no one to talk to.

Eli shook his head. "I think you've been there enough" he said, making a turn. I read the street sign. The road seemed familiar. I knew I had been down this road more than once in my life but it felt like that had been quite some time ago, before Darcy was harmed at that party.

"Where?" I urged him to tell me. He shook his head, refusing to tell me. I groaned but said nothing more, knowing that it would be futile. I slouched back on the chair, and closed my eyes, figuring I should get some sleep. I hadn't actually slept the night before. I had been too stressed. That one night that I had actually wanted to sleep, my parents had brought their troubles home. Even with the noise cancellations, I could still hear them quite clearly.

* * *

After what felt like hours to me, I opened my eyes to two hands shaking me slightly. The first thing that I saw when I opened my eyes were those green eyes that I loved so much. Even more his smirk, he was wearing that smirk of his.

"Nice to see you back with the living, Blue eyes." Eli commented, smirking.

I yawned, and rubbed my eyes. "How long was I asleep?"

Eli glanced at his watch, "Not that long. Ten minutes at the max." he answered.

I sat up, taking in my surroundings. Confused, I asked "Where are we?"

He said something in a language that I didn't understand and he seemed to noticed that because he supplied, "It's French for the house of God."

I nodded in reply. "It's pretty." I said, referring to his French. "But, why are we here?"

Ignoring my first comment, he told me "You seem to need it."

I groaned, "Eli, I said I don't want to believe in him anymore!" I crossed my arms, "Take me home, anywhere but here!"

He shook his head, disobeying my wishes. "I can't do that, Clare."

I screamed, "Ugh! You're unbelievable!"

Eli sighed. "It's for your best, Clare."

I felt tears of frustration threatening to fall. "For my best!" I screamed, my tears falling. "How is this for my best? I thought you, out of everyone, would understand where I was coming from." I closed my eyes, letting my tears fall. I knew that my face must have been streaked with black lines from the mascara but I could care less. "Please, I don't want to go in there."

He wasn't going to give anytime soon. "We're not leaving until you do, Clare."

I turned my head to look at him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why?"

He sighed, scowling. "Because I love you…" My eyes widened at his confession.

I chose to not believe it. "You're lying…you're only saying that."

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. I really do love you, Clare."

More tears fell from my eyes. I knew I should have been happy. Eli, the guy I loved more than anything, had just told me that he loved me. But I wasn't.

"Clare?" I heard Eli say, "Why are you crying?"

"You don't love me" I whispered, "You'll just end up leaving me. They all do."

His eyes widened. "Clare." he whispered, trying to collect me his arms.

I struggled in his grip, trying to escape him but soon gave up, and settled into his arms.

I closed my eyes, tears sliding down my cheeks. "Everyone that I ever let myself love for, always ends up leaving me." I whispered, sadly. "My sister left…I know it wasn't her fault but…I needed her. How could she just leave?"

I felt him rubbed my back, trying to calm me.

"Then…then…KC… I thought…he loved me but…the one moment he saw her…he just left…me." I whispered, broken at the memory. "And, my parents…they tell me that they love me but they don't show it anymore. It's like I don't exist anymore." I hiccupped. "Now you…tell me you love me…but how am I to know that you won't…get up and leave me…like the rest?" I asked him, glancing up at him for the first time since he gathered me in his arms.

Looking into his eyes, I could practically see his heart break at my sadness. "Clare…" he whispered, sadly. He cleared his throat, choking back sobs. "You don't, you just have to trust…"

"How am I suppose to trust people? When all they do is break me when I try and trust them?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Clare. But you have to trust in me that I would never hurt you, intentionally. Never. I would take a shot to the head before I ever hurt you."

I was shocked to say the least. "You…mean that?"

He nodded, smiling at me. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't, Clare." I beamed at him, and he reached into one of his pockets and took out a small handkerchief. He rubbed it against my cheeks, before putting it away. "There, all better."

"Eli?" I whispered.

He glanced back at me, smiling. "Yeah, Clare?"

"I'm ready." I told him. He smiled and stepped out of Morty. And before I could open the door myself, he opened it for me. He held his hand out to me. I placed my own in his, and stepped out.

"You sure? We don't have to go in there if you really don't want to." he told me, glancing at me every second or so.

I nodded. "You were right, Eli." I said, "I need this." He nodded, smiling at me.

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We stopped in front of two huge doors that were covered in colorful glass with pictures in the glass of the door. Again, it all seemed familiar to me. And then it hit me as to why it was all so familiar.

I guess when I didn't walk inside the church when Eli held open the doors, he grew worried.

"Clare?" he asked, "Are you sure you're okay with going inside?"

I snapped out of my thoughts, and nodded. "Yeah, it's just…I feel like I have been here before."

Eli shrugged. "You probably have." I nodded, a thoughtful expression on my face. "Want to talk about it?"

"Huh?" I asked, again coming out of my thoughts.

"You have a lot on your mind" commented Eli, shrugging. "Figuring you'd want to talk about it."

I nodded, and replied "It's nothing…just I remember going here a long time ago."

"How long ago?" asked Eli.

It had only been a year ago that I had been in here, and that had been when my family was still strong, and Darcy was still around.

"It feels like forever, though it was only last year." I answered, looking down at my ring. That had been the only thing that I had refused to remove when I dressed up like this. No matter what I do or not believe in, that moral would never change for me.

"And?" Eli said, trying to get me to speak more.

"The last time that I was in here, my family was still together. My sister was still here." I whispered.

I never did tell Eli much about my sister. All he knew that I had a sister that left to Kenya, nothing more than that. "Tell me more about your sister?" He said.

I sighed, I hated thinking about that night. The night that my sister had been broken.

"My sister, Darcy…she used to be part of the Power Squad." I said, and I noticed Eli roll his eyes at mentioning what my sister had been.

"She wasn't your usual preppy power squad girl though. She was sweet, and nice…she even did charity. But, all nice things come to an end. And…well, it all started with her taking racy pictures of herself for some man because she needed money for something, I don't remember what…but then that man, he followed her to school, and then he came to our house…then, I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was that she was in trouble. I did as she told me to and called 9-1-1. Luckily nothing happened then to her, but it still left her scarred." I paused, taking a deep breath.

"And as if things couldn't have gotten worse for her, she was raped. At a party. Someone had spiked her drink with some sort of drug. They…tainted her. She had been saving herself…for her boyfriend. And I guess when this happened, she couldn't stand living anymore, and she tried to end her life many times." I whispered, closing my eyes as I felt tears sting at the corner of my eyes.

I opened my eyes, "She needed to escape everything in Degrassi, so my parents sent her to Kenya to clear her sins and whatnot…And, I haven't seen her since."

I looked at Eli, his mouth was gapped open. After a few seconds, he closed it and opened it before speaking.

"Your parents sent her away to cleanse her sins?" he said, shocked. I nodded. "Her sins? She was raped, and they say she needs to clean her sins? Wow." He said, shaking his head.

I understood just what he meant. It wasn't right that Darcy had to be burdened with the knowledge that she had been raped and then have to carry on believing that she had sinned because of it. Maybe if our parents had been a bit more supportive of her, then she would still be around.

I nodded, looking down at my feet. "From there, my parents marriage began to crumble." I whispered. "I guess without their favorite around anymore, they had nothing to make them attempt to be the perfect parents they once used to be. I guess I wasn't enough to keep them strong."

Eli sighed. "Clare, I am sure whether your sister had been there or not, your parents marriage would have came crashing down like an avalanche anyways."

I shook my head, "I'm not so sure of that."

Eli put an arm around me, dragging me deeper inside the church.

"Come, this isn't the place to think of those things." he whispered into my ear.

I nodded, walking with him.

* * *

We stopped in front of a large cross on the wall. Candles surrounded the area. For me, it felt like an area where one would pray. I witnessed him kneeling down in front of the cross, and closing his eyes.

"What were you doing?" I asked after he stood up. I mean, I knew what he was doing but I didn't believe that he did that.

"Praying." he answered. At my look of surprise, he said "Is it that shocking?"

I shook my head. "No…it's just…I never thought you believed in God is all. It just came as a surprise is all."

"Was it the hearse and my usual black clothing?" he asked me.

I hated to admit it but what he said was true. I nodded, ashamed at myself for ever thinking those things.

He laughed. "I expected that." he said.

"What?" I questioned.

He shrugged. "Just that, most people wouldn't expect me as a church going kind of guy." I only nodded. "For me," he gesturing to the church, "this is my escape from reality."

I nodded, it made sense. "I know just what you mean." I whispered.

He smiled at me. "Your turn" he said.

"What do you mean?" I said.

He pointed at the cross, "I figured since I got you here, you should pray." he told me. I nodded, and knelt down.

I placed my hands together, palms touching. I closed my eyes in concentration. I mumbled a prayer, "I know that I haven't been faithful to you in awhile but please don't ignore me. I just want everything to go back to how it used to be…I want my sister to be home, don't leave her in the dark. It wasn't her fault. My parents, don't let their relationship crumbled further. If you can hear me God, please help my struggling family. Please, I don't know what to do…Amen." I opened my eyes and stood back up on my feet. I backed up into Eli, and he placed an arm around me.

"Don't you feel better now?" he asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah." I whispered, "I do." I turned around to face him and looked into his eyes. "Thanks. I needed this. I don't know how to ever thank you…"

He nodded, smiling. His eyes seemed to wander from my eyes to my lips and back as he spoke again.

"I can…think of a few ways." he whispered, slyly.

My eyes grew large, and I playfully slapped Eli's shoulder. "Eli!" I gasped.

He smirked, and raised his hands up in defense. "Hey, you thought it, not me."

I rolled my eyes, and smiling. "What did you have in mind?" To me, this was like a replay of what happened that day in the library.

"Well I don't know…" he whispered before capturing my lips with his own. Exactly like the time in the library.

I felt his tongue lick at my bottom lip begging to be let in, and I complied, opening my mouth. I felt him dip his tongue in and out of my mouth, and then my tongue fought for dominance. This kiss was different than all the other kisses that I have ever before. It was strong, passionate, and had so much meaning. After being lip-locked for several seconds, we pulled apart for air.

I was smiling like an idiot, I knew it. "Wow." I said, speechless.

He nodded. "Yeah." It was as if he had remember exactly why we were here, and he asked me, "How are you feeling?"

I'm walking on air, I thought to myself before answering him. I knew what he was referring to. "Better. Thanks to you."

Eli smirked, arching an eyebrow up. "So, this uh…new look…was just for today?"

I bit my bottom lip in thought, before nodding. "Yeah." I whispered. It was true, it was just for today. I mean, if Eli hadn't confronted me about this then maybe it wouldn't have just been for today but he had.

"That's good to hear." he whispered, smirking.

"Why is that?" I asked, smiling.

He shrugged, and answered "I think you're pretty just the way you are."

I felt my cheeks heat up at his comment. "Thanks…" I whispered, smiling.

He nodded. "No problem, just stating the truth is all."

I blushed, and said "Eli…what would I do without you?"

He shrugged, and answered my rhetorical question. "Lose yourself to the never ending darkness?" I slapped his shoulder, playfully.

"That was a rhetorical question, Eli!" I told him, laughing.

He laughed, shrugging. "I know."

"Then why did you answer it?" I asked him, confused.

He smirked, "I think answering rhetorical questions make me look smarter."

I nodded, pretending to buy his explanation. "Right." I said.

My voice must have held a sarcastic tone because Eli arched an eyebrow up and commented, "I seem to be rubbing off on you."

I shrugged in response. "I'm ready to go when you are." I told him.

He nodded, and placed his hand in mine. I blushed, glancing at our now connected hands.

Still holding my hand, he walked towards the door, and I walked along side him. When we walked outside it had begun to pour rain, I squealed as I felt the drops of rain hit me. We skipped in the rain, laughing. I don't remember having this much fun in a long time. As the rain grew heavier, we raced towards Morty and he went ahead of me. He held open the door for me.

"Ladies first." he said, and I stepped inside the car, taking a seat. He then closed the door before getting in himself.

He stared intensely at me. It was as if he was trying to figure something out. I was soaked from the rain, and I probably didn't look my best, and maybe that was what he was thinking of. Then he whispered, "You're beautiful"

"What?" I asked, shocked. "Even like this?" I gestured to my soaked clothing, and messed up hair. "My hair must be a mess."

He shook his head. "I love your curly hair, Clare." He said, touching my hair. Looking deep into my eyes, he whispered "And your eyes…Clare…nothing could ever take away from your natural beauty."

"You mean that?" I asked him, smiling.

He nodded. "Every word. You're beautiful just the way you are. Don't ever change." I nodded in response. "Promise me you'll never change again?"

For him, anything. "I promise."

* * *

"We're here." He said, stopping in front of my house.

It didn't matter if he did so anymore, it wasn't as if my parents were here to grow suspicious of me arriving in a hearse.

I opened the door, and began to get out but stopped when I heard him speak.

"Clare?" he called after me.

I turned my head slightly to be able to look at him. "Yeah?"

He took a deep breath before speaking. "I love you."

I nodded, smiling. "I know."

"Don't ever forget it." he told me, smiling.

"I won't" I told him, stepping out of Morty. I heard him sigh, like he had expected something more. I smirked. I wasn't one to smirk but ever since I had been hanging around him, I had taken to smirking. I turned around now outside. "Oh and Eli?"

He glanced up, "Yeah?"

"I love you, too." I told him.

He smiled, happy.

"Well…I'll…uh see you around?" I said, unsure of what to say next after my confession.

Eli smirked. He obviously must have remembered our first ever conversation. He answered, "I guess you will." And then he drove off, leaving me speechless once again.

When I couldn't see him and his hearse anymore, I turned around and walked up to my front door. Unlocking the door, I stepped inside. Walking towards my room, I passed by several different photos that I had sworn that I had put away; A photo of my entire family, including my sister, and a photo of my parents when they were still happy together, and a photo of myself when I was still innocent and naïve.

I sighed, smiling. Those photos didn't bug me like they used to. Not since I have had Eli in my life. While I may not have much faith in god any more. He seemed to have enough faith for the both of us.

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**Author's note:**

**Well what did you think of it? Good? Okay? What? Please review telling me what you think? Just don't flame me. Thanks!**

**EDIT: I edited a few things here and there**


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